"It started as an idea between a group of parish nurses," said Kim Askeland, the program coordinator at Wellspring Faith in Action. "They just thought that there were gaps of services where people weren't getting what they need."
Askeland works with one other colleague out of their perfectly-sized-for-two-people-but-no-more office space. Wellspring Faith in Actions also has independent contractors and volunteers to help staff their programs, including caregiver's support. "A lot of people don't realize they're caregivers and they exhaust themselves taking care of somebody, but they don't think they need help, they don't think they need resources until they themselves become sick," said Askeland.
One of the most common types of caregiver is a family caregiver, someone who takes care of a family member without pay, much like Deanna Hoffman, whom I met at her camper in Butterfield. "Deanna's been a caregiver for many years and she sought out caregiver support and started coming to the caregiver support group," said Askeland.
Dean and Deanna Hoffman have been married since 1957. They actually went to rival high schools: Dean graduated from St. James and Deanna graduated from Madelia, "and at that time they were like oil and water," said Deanna.
They kind of had to keep their budding love on the down low and they actually broke up once, but not because of the rivalry. "He was gonna be going into the Navy and he didn't want any ties," explained Deanna. "I've told many people — and it's just funny — but I said he's the only guy that I ever dated that broke up with me and he's gonna pay for it the rest of his life."
"I know," joked Dean in a monotone voice and they both broke out in laughter.
I prefaced with this to highlight their sense of humor and positive outlook. Dean suffered a severe stroke in 1983 that left him paralyzed on the left side, which also caused aphasia, an impairment to the left side of the brain that impacts the ability to comprehend or formulate language. Dean was driving the Mankato State basketball team in a bus to Marshall when he had his stroke.
"At that time, the buses were not automatic, so he kept it on the road, but he could not pick up his foot [to press the clutch] because they were not automatic," recalled Deanna. "He had to do the clutch and he couldn't. So then the bus killed."
"I remember, and all of a sudden, lights, really big lights and everything, and just about death," remembered Dean. "And then all of a sudden, floated down." Dean experienced an out-of-body experience. The word Dean uses a lot to describe this time is frustrating.
"Yup, really frustrating. Why me? Why me? And I cried, frustration and everything," he said. "But why me? And then all of a sudden, why not me? Hmm, okay. No more crying."
Deanna said that he figured out he could either laugh or he could cry for the rest of his life, "and he didn't wanna cry for the rest of his life."
